


How Naruto fell in love and also in a pit of endless despair

by bigtoasty



Category: Hunter X Hunter, Naruto
Genre: F/F, M/M, i'm obsessed with naruto now it was only a matter of time, the comeback you didn't ask for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigtoasty/pseuds/bigtoasty
Summary: A study on how naruto fell in love for no reason. Icb Kishimoto wrote this unintentionally. It's almost as dumb as heterosexual love.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, I'm beyond offended his name is listed b4 naruto's in the ship tag, Me/hating sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	How Naruto fell in love and also in a pit of endless despair

Once upon a time there was a bright yellow spiky boy (Who isn’t bart simpson) Naruto. He is 14 and today is his first day of ninja high school i think. no one is quite sure how this system works. Naruto (NOT BART) has no parents and only a faint memory of someone saying the 3rd hokage was going to care for him but I the narrator know this was complete bullshit. 

The complete shonen-madness that is naruto’s character design walked then into a classroom of many other shonen insanities like shikamaru and kiba who i will not describe. Then he saw him. 4 feet tall. Face like someone who has two limes in his mouth and is trying to play it cool. It’s him. Sasuke Uchiha. 

Sasuke was like the sun to Naruto, he was constantly emitting radiation and you couldn’t look directly at him for too long or he’d kill you, and he needed him to live. Also he was hot, naruto thought. I don’t think that at all I know how that bitch turns out.

Sakura was also there and she was truly and honestly god’s gift to humanity and Naruto loved her so much as a friend and maybe more but she wasn’t sad enough to warrant fixing and that’s what naruto looked for in a partner, which is why he loved sasuke, who needed more fixing than a 1967 mercedes benz with no wheels sitting in a garage for more than a decade (that’s my dad’s car and TRUST ME). She was holding hands with Ino and wearing matching flower crowns because the concept of female rivalry over a man, especially over SASUKE, makes me want to puke. Also they are in love. good for them. 

Naruto skateboarded towards Sasuke (yes canonically skateboards don’t exist in this universe but like. you know he would. suspend your disbelief) and held his gaze for approximately 34 seconds before saying

“Hi I’m Naruto, I’m 14, everyone hates me but you’re an orphan and I’m an orphan and I wish there was a war so we could prove that we’re much more than anyone bargained fo- wait hold on this isn’t right. Anyway. Let me fix yo- I mean love yo- I mean Hi I’m Naruto”

Sasuke said nothing because he is an asshole but through his gaze you could see he was thinking “God I wish i had 8 eyes like a spider every single one with a sharingan so i could kill my asshole brother” and absolutely nothing about Naruto. 

He didn’t even hear him.

What an asshole.

Meanwhile naruto thought this gaze meant “I’m an asshole but I have a soul and a heart full of love and will compete with you for as long as i’m here so we can bond over our adventures before I leave and betray everybody but you’ll keep trying to bring me back because you believe in me for some fucking found family reason. You can fix me Naruto. I need you Naruto”

and he was SOLD. 

all of this deeply disgusts me, the narrator, but also I love tragedy and mess. Anyway. Tune in for the next one maybe I guess. 

Oh, were you expecting Hisoka? He isn’t in this one. I mean. He is in every one i guess SOMEWHERE in every universe Hisoka must exist, if you put 10000 monkeys in a room with typewriters they will eventually write hisoka into existence. Anyway I might mention Orochimaru later on. Goodbye


End file.
